did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
