You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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