Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize