i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize