I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Randomize
