i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Randomize
