just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
