Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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