Where is the hickey?
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
