Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
