she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
