Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
