at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
