belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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