from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Randomize
