This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
