im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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