i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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