You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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