She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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