as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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