Just cropdusted the office
do herpes really smell.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize