I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
