You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
