Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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