it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
