READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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