i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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