Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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