I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
