Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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