why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize