He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
