Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize