Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
