All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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