We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
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