Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
