Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
