I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Randomize
