Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
