Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Randomize
