Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Randomize
