She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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