All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
