I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Randomize
