Non-Jews are for practice
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
