The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Randomize
