yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
