I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I think my vagina is haunted
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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