sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
