Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
