grandma shit on top of the toilet
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I FOUND THE LEGS
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
