i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
