mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Don't tell me you're on acid again
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
