dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
