Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
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