I think scott just propositioned me for sex
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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