this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
