As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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