The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
