How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Randomize
