we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
