what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Randomize
