last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
