we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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