I want to stick my p in your. b.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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