Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
