Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Randomize