I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I would ride that face into the sunset
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize
