Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
We had sex on a dog bed..
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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